10 Signs Of Cyberbullying

How can you tell if your child is the victim of on-line harassment? There might be an issue with cyberbullying if your child:

1. looks nervous or agitated when on computer, and quickly exits when someone walks by
2. out of nowhere, "loses interest" in the computer, and avoids discussion about it, or suddenly starts spending more time on-line(reading what's been posting, searching for more postings, etc.)
   
3. is upset after using computer
4. is emptying history folder after being on-line and attempting to hide browsing history
5. suffers sleeping disturbances or mood swings
6. has a change in eating habits
7. engages in anti-social behaviour, including withdrawing from friends and family
8. is preoccupied with self harm
9. has physical symptoms such as nausea or headache
10. has a change for the worse in school grades

What you can do:

1. Educate your child: a) don't reveal personal information; b) don't say anything on-line that you might want to take back (sleep on it before you post it); c) don't post when you're angry; d) don't respond or retaliate to attacks. Don't engage in the conflict, or give the bully any more fuel.
   
2. Talk to them about the real reason kids bully: because the bullies themselves are unhappy, and it very seldom has to do with the victim.
3. Use technology to block the bully.
   
4. Participate in your child's on-line life: the more information you have about what he/she is doing on line, the better equipped you will be to help.
5. Teach your child to save the evidence.
   
6. Don't take away internet time - this may prevent disclosure from your child ("if I tell, they won't let me on-line anymore"). Instead, teach your child to come to you for help.
7. Keep the computer in a central room (do not allow internet in an unsupervised area).

WebEyesOpen Home

Opening My Kids' Eyes To Fake Profiles

A friend once forwarded me an e-mail featuring skillfully edited photographs of "blended animals", such as a cat with a beak, and a dog with wings. They looked amazingly real. I showed the photos to my kids, and as they ooohed and laughed over the images, I couldn't help but think how beautifully the pictures illustrated a very important lesson.

You cannot believe everything you see online, no matter how convincing or real it appears to be.

Kids can be taught to not give out personal information, but what happens when they start to believe that the online alias they're chatting with is real, and then let their guard down?

What if...

...I sat down at the computer with my kids, and I built my own online alias while they watched. Not as a Mom, but as another kid.

I could make up a nickname, create a web mail account with that nickname, and then build an online profile. I could google and surf for some pictures, and show them how easy it would be to "right click save as" to add them to my profile to make it more convincing. This is where we would discuss copyright, as well as: "see how careful you have to be with pictures? If you upload a picture of yourself, anyone can copy it and use it!!". (I wouldn't feel right about actually inserting the pictures into the profile, but hopefully my kids would see how easily someone could.)

I could then use this new profile and register for a chat room, and strike up a conversation with another kid. As a fellow kid. (For the sake of that child it would be an short and harmless chat, after which I'd simply log off). Then I'd delete the false profile.

"Wow, Mom! She totally thought you were ten years old."

That's right, she did. I was convincing, wasn't I? It was wrong to lie, and maybe even against the law to create a false identity, but at least she wasn't hurt, because it was just me.

...and not a bad stranger.

TOTLOL and YouTube

My kids spend a lot of time at www.totlol.com. It's a website featuring kid safe videos that have been screened by viewers. Once you view a video, you can add your own rating. You can also save a favourites list of videos your kids particularly like.

Imagine my surprise when I turned my back for a moment on my then four year old son, only to look again to see that he'd left Totlol.com and was on YouTube, and about to click on a not so kid friendly video. He'd gotten there because the YouTube vids on Totlol have a YouTube link in the bottom right corner that your child can click on, that transfers you to the adult site.

Don't get me wrong, I still love Totlol. I'm assuming they would not be allowed to use the YouTube videos without the YouTube logo, but there should be some way to disable the link. (Am I wrong that there isn't? I just checked again and couldn't find a way).

It just goes to show that even "kid safe" sites require parental supervision. We just can't be too careful!

How Vulnerable Are Our Children Online?

Here's one (of many) ways. This is a summary of a true story, told to me by a friend:

• a "tween" aged girl (11 years old) had a conversation with a friend via social media.
• she divulged three critical pieces of info: where she played soccer, when she played, and what her number is.
• an under cover police officer (thank goodness!) used this information to find her and follow her home.

You can imagine the shock felt by the family when the police officer knocked on the door and informed them how easily their girl could have been taken, if he had been an Internet predator rather than a cop.

Scary.

One of my objectives with this blog is to collect such stories to not only share them with other parents, but with my kids as well. They need to think about things such as:

• what shouldn't the girl in the story above have revealed?
• what would have been another way to arrange a meeting with her friend, without giving away her location?
• just because you don't give out your name, address and phone number, is everything else safe to talk about?

I don't think it's possible (nor is it entirely beneficial) to keep our kids entirely off the internet. Instead, we need to teach them to think before they type.

Welcome To Web Eyes Open

I have two children who use the Internet. They are too young at the moment to participate in social networking, instead playing games on websites designed for very young kids. I know the day will come, however, when they'll be on Facebook or Myspace, among other things.

Realistically, the Internet is everywhere. As our kids get older, denying them access to certain things becomes more difficult. My approach is to educate myself and them instead, and I'm using this blog to compile all of the information I find.

Thanks for visiting, and come back soon!